Exhibit: Allison's Favorite Give-Ings

It was right around Thanksgiving when my wife, Allison, asked me if I'd be willing to design a look and feel for a new website she had planned - a blog with a charitable bent: specifically, to celebrate the holiday season by highlighting a charity a day between Black Friday and Christmas.

"No fucking way!" I said. But then I remembered that she was my wife and therefore in charge. I am but a poor husband, like the rest of you fools at the whim of these women who successfully lobbied to have "obey" removed from their part of the wedding vows. So, being thusly strong-armed, I decided to roll up my sleeves and get involved.

The first task was easy enough. She wanted a gift tag. Holidays! Charity! Gift tag! I came up with this:

allison - gift tag

Surprisingly, it had taken me hours to come up with that relatively simple shape, to choose the font, and to figure out how to make her monogram (the cursive "a" is the actual handwriting of my missuz) into a usable graphic. Less surprisingly, Mrs. Hooban was hoping for a little bit more. Namely, she wanted a ribbon. So after a week during which I hemmed and hawed (and during which she endorsed no fewer than eight charities), I came up with this:

allison - gift tag with ribbon

Eventually, the holiday shopping season ended, and Allison wanted to keep the blog going. So she came to me for counsel.

"It'll never work," I said. "You should give up now. Let the orphans and un-adopted pets and homeless people fend for themselves for once."

I didn't actually say that, of course, and if I had, it would only have been a reflection of my fear of failing my wife, not any weird streak of social conservatism that anyone needed to worry about. The point is, I was trying to cover a pretty deeply seated apprehension about putting my dizine skills out there for the world to see. This woman who agreed to marry me was staking her reputation on backing these charities, and I was afraid that the wrong shade of purple would make me look like a nincompoop.

When I finally came to my senses, I started by attempting to draw a cartoon version of my wife in Illustrator. I wound up with this chestnut:

allison

Somehow, she actually liked it. So from there, I added in some ornaments relating to philanthropy. Again demonstrating the range of my imagination, they were a cow, a tree, a peace sign, and an AIDS ribbon. YES. CHARITY!

Here's a look:

behold! gifts!

The finished product incorporated some purple swirls and other secret designer magic that I'm not allowed to tell you about.

allison - banner

Amazing, right? Pay no attention to the philanthropy going on behind the scenes; the real performer here is the site design. Am I right?

(I am not right. You would be wise to disagree with me on this point, particularly if you are married man.)

The finished product can be seen here.

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